I know that I should be in bed by now but I am still completely hyper from writing a new poem so I thought I'll just post a few funny quotes from me and my friends. At least we thought it was funny XD


Friend & Dad (talking at the same time): My nostrils are so big people could live in them.

Dad: We're not going to drive around tonight.
Friend: Damn. We went to the toilet in vain.

Me: Don't let dead people live!

Me: I need cheese. Because cheese. . . is no sausage.

(At a supermarket cashpoint)
Me: I forgot pocket lighters.
Friend: What do you need them for?
Me: To burn down houses. Let's start with yours.
Friend: They should've shot you when you escaped from the asylum.
(Shop assistant staring at us like "Should I call the police?")

Me: I found my brain. Noooooooo, don't run away!

Friend (holding up a broom): That's my new boyfriend.
Grandma: If you can't find a better one.

Friend: Barbie was cool. You could always stick things in.

Friend: When I finished med school I can give you all sick notes.
Me and another friend (rather bored): Aha.
Friend: And I can give you prescriptions.
Me and another friend (now very enthusiatically): Ahaaaaaaaaaaa.

Friend: Find me a nice Spanish book.
(I'm randomly getting a book from the shelf)
Me: Take that one. It's good.
Friend: No it's not.
Me: You haven't even looked at it. How do you know it's not good?
Friend: Because it's French.

Friend: The good thing about cystitis is that you don't have to go to the toilet as often as you have to breathe.

Friend: If you smoke. . . you can smoke because. . . you're dead.

Friend: Why must it always be beautiful people who die? Damn, we have to be careful.

Shop Assistant: Gooosh, half your back is showing. You'll regret that when you're old.
Me: I better don't get old then.
Shop Assistant: . . . . . . . very funny.

Me: Joker and Batman have something going on for sure.
Friend: They need a marriage counsellor.

Me: I can't tell you much about self-harming behaviour. Better take a nice drug addiction or a funny mental illness.

Me: Philosophical prostitude.

Me: I have to wash my favourite jacket. You know. . . the white one. . . with the funny sleeves O.o

Friend: That's a picture of my boyfriend going to the bathroom. . . or his sister's room. I could never tell that apart.

Friend (after trying (and failing) to put my radio into the bracket): Ahhh, that's alright. It looks goooood. Gosh, lucky I'm not going to be a surgeon. "Hey, why did you sew my foot to my shoulder?" - "Ahhh, that's alright. It looks gooooood."

Friend: Too bad Heath Ledger can't play the Joker in the next Batman flick again. Ahhh, he's still alright. We'll dig him out. That'll be fiiiiiine. It'll look gooood.

Me (talking to a plan for a few minutes, then turning to my friend): Greetings from Patti (other friend) by the way.
Friend: You named that plant Patti?

Friend: See, I made a hat from this wrapping.
(Me takes it, looks at it, eats it.)
Friend: Ok, now that was the last thing I thought you'd do.

I love my friends XD